Green Tea Ice Cream
by Sakurai
Summary: When one of Shohoku basketball team member got attached, it inadvertly started a whole chain of mad rush to find 'The One'. No one was spared. Humour fic! Please leave your sanity behind before clicking!
1. Will you be mine?

Green Tea Ice-cream 

Author: Sakurai

Feedback: yes, please!

Rating: PG-13 

Warning: Future profanities? No-beta (Please excuse any minor mistakes.)

Notes: "..." denotes speech '...' denotes thoughts

Disclaimer: All rights go to their respective owners. I claim nothing. Except this fic.

-And so it starts-

"Yasu! Training!" Akagi thundered out. Yasu hurried away from the benches and the girl he was talking to. Ryota nudged Mitsui in the ribs. 

"Yasu got yelled at again? What is up with him these days?"

"Heck if I know..." Mitsui drawled, raising his hands to toss the ball. The basketball arced high and swished through the net. A perfect three-pointer.

"He is busy with his girlfriend I suppose..." Kogure said quietly, wiping his spectacles on his t-shirt. Ryota easily tripped on the perfectly smooth court. Sakuragi 'stonified'. Mitsui keeled over and almost died.  Rukawa fell asleep. But again that was the norm for him. Nevertheless, one similar thought echoed in their mind.

_'**WHAT?** Even Yasu have a girlfriend?! And **I** don't?!? What is **THIS**!?!'_

---

      "Aya-chan..." Ryota sidled up to Ayako who was packing her stuff after practice.

      "AreyoufreethisFridaynight?" Ryota burst out in a rush, his face painfully red.

      "No she's not." Akagi butted in rudely. "Ayako, can you come over to my place to..."

      Ryota deflated to a puddle of Ryota-goo on the floor.

      "Erh? Where did he go? Anyway, we really need to go over the training schedule to prepare for the winter tournament and to also go over the logistics for this Saturday match against Ryonan..."Akagi continued on and on and on.

---

Rukawa cycled down the street, music blaring from his earphones. Behind him was multitude of off tilt lamp posts, crashed cars and weird half squished objects. Then he fell asleep again.

---

      'This is utter ridiculous. How it is that such a hunk like me is still single when people like Yasu are actually attached? It is almost like my non smoking habit. Whatever, I'm digressing. I think it is really time for me to get attached too.' Mitsui mentally conversed with himself as he walked home.

      'But to who? I don't know many girls apart from Ayako, Haruko, my classmates and the team tag along. Nanami? Nah. She is a ditz. Miki or Aki? They are too scary...'He went down the list. Virtually striking off every single girl in his class.

'Haruko? Actually...hmm... she is quite pretty, likes basketball too.' Mitsui did a quick visualization of himself walking down the streets with Haruko, hand in hand. 'Not bad...' He smirked to himself. Then in his mind a roaring Akagi burst out behind the chibi-Mitsui and pummelled him into a bloody splat on the floor. Mitsui instantly broke out in cold sweat. 

'Haruko definitely NON-APPILCABLE. Ayako? Hmmm...Pretty? Yes. Intelligent? Yes. Basketball? Yes. Problems?' He thought for awhile.

'... Miyagi...' Dr T poked him in the mind and happily supplied. 'Ha! He will probably kill me if I go after Ayako. But again he already wants to kill me half the time. Hmmm... Now the only question is "Is Miyagi's displeasure worth Ayako?"'

"..." Mitsui stopped on the overhead bridge to look out towards the oncoming traffic. 'Ayako is pretty, smart and likes basketball. I mean, she loves basketball just as much as I do! And she is the right height too.' Mitsui did another quick visualization. 'And she is caring too, and isn't a pushover, look at the way she can bully Sakuragi into basics. She got a great smile, and her hair is nice. In fact the more I think about it the more I think she is perfect for me. She got to be the one for me. Honestly, I will kill myself if she chose Miyagi over me. Heheh, Ayako is such a babe. And in bonus I get to I get to irritate the hell out of Miyagi! This is just perfect! Yosha! This settles it! She is the one for me!'

---

      "We are pathetic." Miyagi trudged down the streets. 

      "I can't believe it. Even that twerp has a girlfriend?" Sakuragi continued morosely. "How can a **genius** like me lose to him?!"

      Miyagi was too depressed to deflate Sakuragi's ego like he normally do.

      "Agrh! Tomorrow! Tomorrow I'm going to kill Rukawa then ask Haruko out!" Sakuragi growled in frustration, almost tearing his hair out.

      "Are you nuts?! You can't! The winter tournaments are coming! We need him! You better take care of your back rather than worry over your single status!" Miyagi lift his hands to scratch at his scalp.

      "You ask Ayako out just now didn't you? So? Did she say yes?" Sakuragi countered back. 'Please say no!' Sakuragi send a silent prayer to above.

      "No. She will be going to Akagi's house." Miyagi replied, tears gently streaming down his face. 

"And you just let her go?" Sakuragi stroked his chest in relief. 'At least I'm not the only one single... ' Sakuragi envisioned the idea of Akagi with Ayako. He turned a virulent green and almost puked.

"You are right! I must do something!" Miyagi said, determined. "And you must ask Haruko out tomorrow too!"

"..." Sakuragi looked on in surprise at the suddenly decisive Miyagi. 'What!?! How am I going to ask her out?!?!?!?!'

---

      Kogure strolled home, lifting his face to inhale the warm salty sea breeze. "Ahh... It was a pretty good practice..." He sighed out. He would have to drop basketball soon to concentrate on his entrance examinations. A glint of silver at the corner of his eyes made him look over. Somebody was fishing at the pier. 'This is strange... normally people do not fish at this time...' Kogure lifted his hand to shade his eyes and squinted at the dark figure. 'Spiky hair? It must be Sendoh!' Kogure walk along the concrete pathway to greet him.

---

      "Hmm? Ah! Fish!" Sendoh exclaimed, roused out of his half-slumber by the tugging on his line. He stood quickly, reeling and slacking the line when needed respectively.

      "Hmm... it is a big one! Hmm- -ARHG?! SHIT!!" Sendoh teetered on the edge of the jetty. He had taken a step back and skidded on the small discarded lemon rind. 'I must really be neater!' Sendoh thought ruefully. Then just as he got his footing once more, a pair of warm arms encircled his waist and jerked him back roughly. Sendoh yelped in surprise and let go of his fishing rod.

"AHHHHHH!!!! My rod..." Sendoh whimpered. "That was my favourite fishing rod!" Sendoh offered a minute of silence for his fishing rod which was being towed away by the fish which will be perfect for dinner.

"Erm... Sendoh-san are you okay?" Kogure hesitantly enquired.

'Of course I'm not okay! That was my favourite! Lost to a watery grave..." Sendoh cried, pseudo tears arching down like twin waterfalls.

"I'm very sorry..." Kogure apologised. Well, from his point of view, Sendoh **HAD been in a very precarious state of unstable equilibrium. And hence he did the only thing came to mind in his panic state. He dashed forward and grabbed Sendoh. He **DID NOT** really mean to grab him around the waist of course... It just happened.**

'That was so intelligent, Kiminobu. Just because you can't swim does not mean everybody else can't!' Kogure could have killed himself. 'God! Just kill me now!!!' Kogure half prayed. 

"I will pay you back for the fishing rod!" Kogure rushed out.

"Fine... Seeing you are so enthusiastic to do so... what about my dinner then? That fish was going to be my dinner (and it was a big one too!). And don't you think I am going to let you off for groping me!" Sendoh haggled, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Grop- WHAT?! I didn't! I mean it was... No I mean it wasn't... I mean it was an-" Kogure went into full-fledged panic mode. He stepped back. And went up. Then down. And down. 

'You got to be kidding me! Of all the time to grant a wish. Why now? God! You must hate me!' Kogure hits the water with a loud splash.

Sendoh stared down at the lemon rind. It seemed to be smirking back at him. Edging as far away as possible from the rind he pushed it over the side with a stick. It went into the water with a decidedly evil plop.

"Are you okay?" Sendoh asked peering at the floundering Kogure. He did not mean to fluster Kogure so much. 

(-_-)? *Sakurai stared at Sendoh*

Okay he did mean to do so, Kogure was so fun to play with, so many expressions and all that but he didn't count on him falling prey to 'The-Evil-Lemon-Rind'©.

"I'm fine..." Kogure gasped out. He even managed a little wave. Then he sank like Titanic with three hundreds of Kate Winslet on board. Sendoh stared as the bubbling spot. He shrugged. Chucking off his shoes, Sendoh dived in after Kogure.

---

To Be Continued

Sakurai: Is there any Kate Winslet's fans? If so, my apologies. 

Kogure: WHY CAN'T I SWIM? ('_')?

Sendoh: Hey at least you are not the one molested... (_)

Kogure: That is not funny... (-_-)

Sendoh: Thus spake the molester...

Sakurai/Kogure: ...

Yasu: You did this on purpose. You want them to kill me. (*_*)

Sakuragi: I'm the genius! I should be the one attached!

Mitsui/Rukawa: ...  (@_@) (z_z)

Miyagi: With all that hot air... all you need is a pin...

Sakurai: OKAY! SHUT-UP!!! Just to make things clear... the Sendoh here is the goofball Sendoh. He is cuter that way! Haha... My first purely Slam Dunk fic... if there is any mistake... Do tell me! And it was so fun to watch Mitsui convince himself. The guy got the groove to psycho himself.

-POOF-

Yelen: Mitsui!!!

Mitsui: !!!!! (NANI? WHERE DID SHE COME FROM? HIDES IN SPANDEX SPACE.)

Sakurai: ... Okay, okay... END!!

Yelen: MITSUI!!!

Sakurai points Yelen to the review box. HAHAHAHAHAHA... 

Reviews = Happy me = Happy hand = happy chapters

Get it?


	2. Lemon Cookies!

Green Tea Ice-cream 

Author: Sakurai

Feedback: yes, please!

Rating: PG-13 

Warning: Future profanities? Obscene amount of silliness. No-beta (Please excuse any minor mistakes.)

Notes: "..." denotes speech '...' denotes thoughts

Disclaimer: All rights go to their respective owners. I claim nothing. Except this fic.

-And so it continue-

"It was a good game..." Sendoh greeted Akagi cordially. "Was there a problem? Sakuragi seems to be missing, Miyagi didn't pass up a single ball to Mitsui even when he is right open and Kogure seems to be avoiding me like plague. And I thought Shohoku had been looking forward to this match? Ryonan had been able to get Uzomi back too..." Sendoh swept his eyes over the motley crew. Miyagi was in a drowning cloud of depression. Mitsui looks way too hyper, considering the fact that Shohoku had lost by one point to Ryonan. Rukawa seems to be in a weird funk and Kogure... Kogure had been and still was industrially avoiding looking in his direction. At all. Akagi had been the only one only into the game. No surprise Ryonan won. It was almost an unfair match. 

"Shohoku! Gather!" The tic jumped in Akagi cheek. Right on cue, Sakuragi crashed through the gym entrance. "Agrhhhh! The match is over? How could you guys start the match without the Tensai?!"  
"Do ahou." Rukawa muttered, remarkably snidely with his half lidded eyes.  
"You are late for hour and hour. Do you really expect us to wait for you?" 'Where the hell do you get that ego?" Miyagi and Mitsui both gave their two cents worth. Miyagi suddenly realized how close Mitsui was to him and immediately move away, glaring at Mitsui. Mitsui only smile wider. 'Ahhh... so Miyagi had gotten wind of my 'little date' with Ayako later. Anyway, he doesn't need to know Ayako only agreed because she thought I need help with my English project. And he certainly doesn't need to know about the hour I spent in the toilet psyching myself up to ask her! You are cool, Mitsui. You are cool.' Mitsui smiled to himself.

'That, that smirk! Ayako! How could you even think about spending, spending time with that, that thing?!' Miyagi wailed mentally, fist tightening. Yasu took one look at his fellow team mates and decided it was now or never to avert disaster.  A little domestic disturbance makes life interesting but definitely not in front of visitors! Grabbing out a fistful of cookies he forcibly shove them into any gaping mouths or hands. Namely, Kogure's, Akagi's and Rukawa's hands. Mitsui's smirking mouth, Miyagi's snarling mouth and Sakuragi's still spluttering mouth. Then darting further away, he hand out the fragrant, still slightly steaming lemon cookies to Kuwata and the others. Sakuragi choked, spluttered some more then inhaled the cookie whole in mere seconds. 

"Delicious!" He reached over to poach Kuwata's just as the poor guy was above to bite into his cookie.

"Yasu? Where did you get them from? They are really good!" Miyagi muttered around his full mouth.

"Heh... My girlfriend made them for all of us." Yasu replied, flushing deep scarlet, pointing to a slight figure off the right side of the Ru-Ka-Wa girls. The girl turned even redder than Yasu and did a little wave before ducking behind Rukawa's fan girls. The 'S-M-M' gang stared. They were about to expire from abject envy. Rukawa snorted. 'Pathetic.' Taking a tentative nibble, he fell into a semi-doze, only half conscious of how he was gnawing on the cookie.

**-WARNING. RIDICULOUSLY AFFECTIONATE SENDOH AHEAD. WARNING SILLY STUFF AHEAD. WARNING I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY MUSES. YOU ARE DULY WARNED-**

~Sniff. Sniff, sniff. Sniff, sniff, sniff. ~ 

Sendoh nudged Koshino. "Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Koshino answered, taking a deep breath. His eyes bugged out. Gripping Sendoh's arms as tightly as he could, he called for reinforcement. "Chains! Locks! **HELP! Help me hold him down before he makes a fool out of himself!!" Sendoh eyes had turn into little lemons.**

"Lemon cookies" Sendoh half whispered.

Kogure watched amused as the 'S-M-M' gang fought over the last cookie, only to realise that while they were distracted Rukawa had eaten it. Kogure lifted his hand to bite at his own cookie, but someone beat him to it. '**WHAT?!**' Kogure jumped about a metre off the ground. "Sen-Sendoh-san?" Kogure stammered out at Sendoh who was half hanging over his back to get at the lemon cookie. Kogure tried to untangle himself. As impossible as it seems, Sendoh adhered himself even tighter and took a big chomp out of the cookie. Uzomi turned very white. 

Koshino turned blue. 'There goes our reputation! We should never have let him out of the school.' The rest of the Ryonan team was in similar state. Koshino look as he was about to cry. 'God... Just give him the damned cookie!!' He dug his hands into his hair and tugged. Maybe if he closes his eyes he could pretend this was not happen... All of Ryonan knows what happen when Sendoh gets into lemon frenzy. He turns into a glomp monster.

"Get... Get off me!!" Kogure turned very, very red. Akagi gaped like a goldfish. The rest of Shohoku was riveted.

"Shouldn't we like save him?" Mitsui murmured, dazed.

"Nah. This is more fun. Look at Uzomi. He looks as if he is going to burst a vein. If only Taoka is here... Then it will really be very, very funny!" Miyagi sniggered.

Sakuragi laughed maniacally. "I knew it! I knew it!! Stupid Smiley is really an idiotic pervert! Whahahahahah!"

Rukawa walk over placidly and removed Sendoh. A soft tearing sound went out like thunder in the room. 

"Lemon cookies... Lemon... Why are you so cold Kogure...? We even kissed by default... Lemon cookies..." Sendoh whimpered out in despair. 'Lemon cookies...' Sendoh was fixated. Akagi fell like timber.

"The plot thickens!" Miyagi whispered excitedly. He had almost forgotten Mitsui treachery. Almost. Mitsui went blue then white then green. His face couldn't decide which colour it wants to be.

'Kiss? KISS!?!' Mitsui thought about all the times he had casually placed an arm over Kogure's shoulders or shared a hug after a victorious game. "**OH MY GOD KOGURE!** You're **GAY**?!? And with **SENDOH!? You're not only, only ****GAY but you're fraternizing with the, the **ENEMY** as while!?" He burst out in utter stupefaction.**

Kogure crammed the rest of the cookie into his mouth by reflex as soon as he got free. The he rammed his head into the wall. Repeatedly. 'It –bang- was –bang- just –bang- CPR! AHHH! Just –bang- kill –bang- me –bang- now!'

"Mine." Rukawa said impassively putting himself firmly between Kogure and Sendoh.

**"WWHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!?" The whole gym echoed. Akagi twitched systematically from his prone position from the floor.**

"Enter the rival..." Miyagi could feel a rush of inspiration. Maybe it would help him compose a poem for Ayako later.

"**Ru-RUKAWA** too?" Mitsui had enough. He was about to get a mental breakdown. He turned to Sakuragi. "Are you Homo too, Sakuragi?"

"Of course I'm. What kind of idiot do you take me for? Aren't you one too?" Sakuragi replied crossly. Mitsui thinking -Homosexual. Sakuragi thinking -Homo sapiens.

"Of **COURSE NOT**!" Mitsui shrank away from the collective group of Shohoku people. 'They are all gay?! I am never going to shower in the communal showers ever again!'

Kogure squatted down in a corner of the gym. "This is not happening... This is not happening..." He mumbled softly to himself. Rukawa's fans were in disarray. Those that are also in 'Yaoi-Fan-girls' clan were ecstatic. They always knew somebody that pretty can't be totally straight. The 'Rukawa-Is-Mine-Fan-girls' either can't believe their ears (Note: It is also known as Delusional-Fan-girls) or are plotting how to kill Kogure in the most horrible way. Rukawa did the typical chin scratch, watching the various fascinating reactions. Then he remembered he had yet to complete his sentence. Turning to the Very-Dejected-Due-To-Lack-Of-Lemon-Nourishment Sendoh he finished what he was saying.

"My team mate. Stay away."

  
---

To be continued

Sakurai: Heheheh. You were warned. **IMPORTANT!! Anybody wants to know what happen to Kogure after he was saved? (It will also include the Mitsui asking Ayako out scene) If you want. Please included ****Sen X Kog in your review.**

Sendoh: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!? I thought you can't write YAOI?

Sakurai: It is not my fault. It is the reviewers. Especially Doujin, Miracle and chris. The way they go about mentioning Kogure/Sendoh, influenced my evil muses. AND YELEN. The way you keep going on about how Kogure/Sendoh it is in school really, really psycho my brain cells. It is your entire fault. (_) Haha. Just joking la...

Rukawa: You almost make me gay.

Sakurai: The action word here is gay. Anyway. I don't think there is anything wrong with homosexuals. Love is love.

Mitsui: Then why the heck do you make me a homophobic?!?

Sakurai: *Pats Mitsui on the head* because you are cuter that way.

Mitsui/Rukawa/Miyagi: (X_X)

Sakuragi: I DEMAND more AIR-TIME! I'm the Tensai!

Ayako: Evil Sakurai. Kogure is still comatose. *She prods Kogure who is still huddling in the corner*

Sakurai: *Ignoring Ayako* Anyway thanks to yuki, Doujin, unchained (Yelen is my friend. I think?), Miracle, Yelen, Kowai-no-onna, renei, Flowing river, hagane, chris.

Miyagi: I refuse to be label as part of 'S-M-M' gang. It will decrease my intelligence level to be connected to Mitsui and Sakuragi in anyway.

Sakuragi/Mitsui: WHAT!!! DIE!

Sakurai: That's all folks!

Do you like?


End file.
